Motivation - Part One: Loss

In March 2020, I was writing my book when I got sick. I had chest pains and couldn't breathe but didn't have a fever, so I couldn't get tested because the COVID tests were for those who did have a fever. To this day, I still don't know if I had the virus or not, but I was sick, stressed, and depressed for months. 

At the time, my projects included writing my book and building my cabin, neither of which I had any motivation to work on... because I couldn't see the point in doing anything. My brain knew my sickness could be something else entirely, but my online searches didn't reveal any disease with my exact symptoms. 

After getting turned away from my local hospital - something the hospital now denies ever happened - because they weren't "equipped to deal with the virus" and my symptoms, cough and inability to breathe, I didn't know what to do. I realized no one would help me and I had to rely on myself to do the best I could to survive, so I searched online and followed all the instructions that made sense to me. A friend also recommended an oil, mostly made of eucalyptus, that would help with breathing, which I got. I made a list of natural remedies and followed that list religiously, and it helped me physically, but it didn't take away my stress or my depression.

I had no motivation whatsoever.

Motivation - Part Two: Gain (April 28)