Motivation - Part Two: Gain

I had no motivation at all. I didn't feel like working on my book or on my cabin. I didn't even feel like getting out of bed, but I had to because I needed to take the dogs out and cook for them. There was also a little voice that kept telling me I was letting my writing buddy down. We shared our word count daily, and, for several days, all I could do was apologize for not having written anything. I finally told him exactly how I felt. "What's the point?" I wrote to him.

 
Writing words has a magical power. It made me think, really think, about what the point was... for me, for my dogs, for my friends, for anyone. We all have ups and downs, and we all learn that the downs are a part of life, and they make the ups look really good. I was just going through a down phase.

So many people were dying every day, but I was still alive. Why? Maybe I would live, and maybe I wouldn't, but if I gave up doing the things that make up my life, I would be killing myself, not whatever disease was causing the tightness in my chest.

So I wrote my thoughts down, picked up my tools, and went to work on the cabin. Once I focused on my work, I forgot about how sick I felt. I could feel the tightness in my chest, and I still had difficulty breathing, but I was still alive, and I didn't want to waste my time. I concentrated on my work and got closer to my goal just a tiny bit each day. Every bit of progress I made in my writing and my construction motivated me to do more. I learned that I had created my own motivation simply by writing down how I felt.